Dear KING, I hope you are well. I am a really huge fan of your blog. You inspired me to start one of my own just to express my thoughts and maybe help someone in the process. Now, my question, how do I get over my past relationships especially one with my daughter's dad? Somehow that has blinded me, and every time I try to move on I find myself holding on to some really little hope that we might get back together. He is seeing someone else and he was honest about it with me--but I haven't let go yet. The other relationship that could be something is with one guy who i believe is only after sex. I know because he rarely calls or texts, and sometimes I have to be the one texting him first unless he wants me to go over to his place. I have only been in relationships where I was really unappreciated and I want a change. I've been waiting for 3 years. I believe a good man will find me, but honestly I feel a little desperate. I don't know what to do. I want to meet a good man who will love, respect, and be honest with me, but I don't know how much longer I can wait. Please help if you understand. Thank you in advance.
Tired of Waiting
Dear Tired of Waiting,
Thank you so much for your kind words and reading my blog!! I'm so happy you've been inspired, and I encourage you to keep writing!!
The first step in getting over someone is deciding that you deserve BETTER. In order to get BETTER, you have to want better and realize that you deserve better. When you know your worth, you won't allow yourself to settle. I highly encourage you to read "The New Side Chick Part II: But I can't leave him..". I discuss leaving toxic relationships and share my experience.
You can not allow yourself to live in the "what if" any longer. Face reality--your child's father has moved on. Now, it's time for you to move on. There's 3 BILLION men on this planet, and you are deciding to be stuck on ONE who is not even an option because he is taken. Just think about that for a minute. Doesn't it sound silly once you think of the bigger picture? God has SO MUCH more out there waiting for you, but you will never get it as long as you keep your head stuck on the past.
A Queen is not desperate, peasants are. I seriously want you to start doing some reflecting on how you view yourself. We accept the treatment we think we deserve. You've stated you've always been in relationships where you were unappreciated. You've accepted "peasantry" from others for so long; now you are starting to give yourself it because that's all you know. It's time to change that.
Start loving yourself. Be confident in yourself. Walk with your head held high, always. Know that you are the best thing that has happened to YOU! Seriously. You aren't ready for a King because deep down you have not treated YOURSELF as if you are a Queen!!
Let's change that! You are beautiful and created with a purpose. Kick those peasants to the curb because you are now about to elevate yourself & there's no room for them on your throne.
Letting go and moving on is NEVER easy, but it is necessary if you want to receive and keep your God-ordained King! Why are you holding on to someone who has no permanent place in your future? Don't you know you're blocking your own blessings when don't release control and trust God? Get comfortable with being uncomfortable if you want better. It's worth it!
Hope this helps!
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Disclaimer: The views expressed on this post are mine alone. I am not a licensed professional, and any advice I give is purely my experienced opinion.