Having It All & Still Feeling Empty

Have you ever driven a car with a full tank of gas and the next minute you look down at the dashboard, you see that you're on E?  That's what happened to me.  One minute I was full of life, thriving and prospering on the road to destiny and the next minute I was empty.  It wasn't a depressed or sad type of empty, but rather one where it felt like a piece of myself went away.  I felt like my soul had abandoned me--I was going through the motions of life and operating separately from my true identity.  I remember one day in particular I asked myself, "How is it possible that I had more peace when I was broke, unemployed, living with my parents, constantly receiving rejection after rejection letter?  How is it possible for me to be living in my dream city, working for a great company, affording a great lifestyle, having a flourishing love life and yet feel so bare?  How was the one who had nothing had everything and the one who had everything had nothing?  How was it possible to have it all and still feel empty?"

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How I Broke My Situationship Curse

"Sometimes in life, your situation will keep repeating itself until you've learned your lesson."

I remember feeling shocked and disappointed as I was reading my diary entries from more than a year ago.  Here I was still dealing with the same mess--situationships.  More specifically, I kept falling for men who were emotionally unavailable to me.  One minute we would be super close then the next minute they were "too busy" (cycle repeats).  I found myself on the same emotional roller coaster, going back and forth between telling myself "we're just friends" to wondering "what are we?".  I think one of the main reasons good quality Queens foolishly remain in situationships is the idea of "what if".

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An Open Letter to the Guy I Wanted

Everyone sees me, except you.  Everyone sees our potential, except you.  Everyone sees the sincerity of my heart, except you.  Till this day I'll never know why you were blinded to a love so obvious, consistent and pure.  Here you had a woman and close friend who's always had your back and would've done anything for you.  My loyalty had no expiration and my support was unwavering.  But despite me fitting the perfect mold of your ideal woman, you still didn't give us a real chance.

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Bye Ugly!!! Hello Beautiful..

Can I start this post by being flat out honest with you?  There have been days where I thought I was ugly.  I picked my face apart because I disliked some of my facial features—my nose looked weird sometimes and my bottom lip is slightly bigger than the top.  One eye seems more open than the other when I take pictures. My ears look like elves. I was so nitpicky.  I’ve even compared myself to other women, more so to admire them and belittle myself. “Her abs are perfect...  Her butt looks better than mine… Her nose is perfectly contoured.  Her hair texture looks prettier than mine…  Her skin is so smooth and flawless…”

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