Every Monday, social media timelines are flooded with women posting pictures of the men they adore with the hash tag #MCM ("Man Crush Monday"). Those who are in relationships, engaged or married usually post a picture of their man with the hashtag #MCE ("Man Crush Everyday"), which signifies that this is the person they are crushing on 24/7. I've been single for the past 2 1/2 years and never partook in #MCM/#MCE. It's not that I didn't want to participate; I just wasn't in an official relationship with anyone. (Side note: I don't believe in publicly broadcasting someone I am just "talking" to.)
However, every week it seemed as if someone new revealed their #MCE. Everyone around me was getting in new relationships, engaged, or married. Meanwhile, I was still single. I became upset because it seemed like all of the women who were getting "cuffed" lacked quality and substance.
I was so frustrated. I didn't understand. I was doing everything right (i.e. going to church, focusing on my career, treating people nicely, dressing cute, not sleeping with anyone, etc). Why didn't God send me my #MCE? Though I would get approached by decent men, none of them lead to a serious relationship.
I remember telling one of my friends, "Kim Kardashian has gone through 5 major events: marriage, divorce, pregnant, engaged, and married. Meanwhile, I don't even have a boyfriend!" My friends response, "Well hell, I don't even have a prospect!"
I was convinced that good women lose.
Maybe your ex who wronged you got into a new relationship before you, and you don't understand how God was able to "bless" him/her with a significant other before "blessing" you with one.
You may have felt this way before or still feel this way now.
I used to feel like this but soon realized that this way of thinking is not the mindset of a Queen. Let me help you for a minute. A Queen knows that:
1. God does not operate on her timing or feelings, nor is He a genie in a bottle. She simply makes her requests known to The Lord and has FAITH and PATIENCE that The Lord will give her HIS best on HIS time. 2. There is no one in this world like her. Therefore, her timeline can not be compared to others because they are in two different lanes. 3. Her value and worth does not lie in her relationship status. 4. Looks are deceiving. She is not phased by the false realities on her social media timelines.
Anyone can get married, have children, and flex on Instagram with their "#MCE". But remember: Just because you're a wife, doesn't mean you're married to your soulmate. Just because you had a baby with him, doesn't mean you two will be together forever. And just because he is your #MCE doesn't mean he's exempt from becoming your #TBT ("Throw Back Thursday")! Matter of fact, you should check to make sure you're not sharing your #MCM/MCE with someone else... *sips tea*.
Queens would rather rule on their throne alone than to share it with anyone other than their King!! Wait on the relationship that God wants you in, not the one you created out of desperation, impulse, and emptiness.
I wish I could create "Soulmate Sunday" (#SMS) and see how many of those #MCEs would make the cut. If you're reading this and you know your #MCE is not your soulmate, LET HIM GO! Give him the boot and buy yourself some cocoa butter so you can start healing those scars that's left.
It's time for us Queens to stop settling for the peasant men dressed in a knight's shiny armor! Let's stop comparing ourselves to each other and tearing each other down because YOU are unhappy with YOURSELF and YOUR relationship status. Be happy for Queens who are with their Kings. If God did it for her, He will do it for you.
Singleness is a blessing not a curse. Your singleness is a season of development and purpose. Ask yourself: Who does God say I am? What has God called me to do with my life? What am I passionate about? What am I doing now that's leading me to fulfill my purpose? If you can't answer those questions, then take your eyes off the clouds (as you wait for Mr. Heaven Sent to fall out the sky), grab a mirror, and take a look at yourself to figure out WHO you are. Too often, women mistakenly identify themselves through a man or relationship because they've failed to figure out the answers to the questions listed above.
Now some of you can answer the questions listed above, that's great! Keep working toward your purpose and start loving yourself the way you desire to love your future soulmate. Invest that positive, loving energy into YOURSELF! NEVER fall out of love with yourself, Queen!
Song of Solomon 8:4 says "Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, not to awaken love until the time is right." This verse is so important that it's listed throughout Song of Solomon three times (also in 3:5 & 2:7). Society says if a woman is not in a relationship, engaged, or married by a certain age, she is considered at failure at womanhood. Do not let society determine your worth and create your timeline. It's ok to be single. It's ok to not have a #MCE. It's ok to wait on the right one because you know your time is valuable.
So where is my #MCE? Only God has the answer to that question. I may or may not know him. However, I do know he's out there working on himself to be the man God has called him to be. I trust that whenever he is revealed to me, he will clearly make his intentions known and align his actions with his words.
With that being said, I will not rush God's timing; I'll rest in it!