Yes ladies I said it: SHUT UP ASKING FOR YOUR HUSBAND! I used to be one of those pathetic women praying dearly every night for God to send me my husband. "Oh God, when are you going to send him?!" I used to spend so many nights fantasizing about my happily ever after. I've spent nights crying in frustration because I got tired of dating those who I already knew weren't "the one" deep down. But then one day, I got tired of complaining. I got tired of waiting. I got tired of having the same old sorry, repetitive prayer to God! I decided to SHUT THE HECK UP AND ENJOY MY LIFE!
There's more to life than marrying a man! Shocking right?! Yes! I know society places big emphasis on a woman's relationship status. If a woman is not married by 30, she's automatically "weird". Something must be wrong with her! After all, a man's opinion of you and decision to offer you a commitment determines your self-worth. THAT'S A LIE! (For those who can't sense my sarcasm).
Ladies, you haven't gotten your husband right now because GOD SAYS THE TIME IS NOT RIGHT NOW. Yes the Bible says, ask and you shall receive. But when you keep asking God for the same thing over and over, it's showing Him you don't trust Him. It's showing Him you're anxious... and desperate.
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-8)
God is a God of one. You only have to let your requests be known to him ONE time and He will give your desires, if it's His will on HIS TIME. God doesn't have a hearing aid. He can hear you loud and clear the FIRST time. Just like men despise nagging, I'm sure God does too. It's pointless, and it won't speed up your love life's timeline. He's not going to forget the desires of your heart; he doesn't forget your prayers. In fact, because He's so awesome He's going to answer those prayers by giving you His BEST!
One thing I admire about men is that they are the true masters of "just living". You don't hear men crying out complaining everyday "Lord where's my wife?! Oh I must be a crappy man because I'm not married!" Don't get me wrong, men do pray for a wife and long for companionship. However, it's not as common to see a man devalue himself because he is not in a relationship. You don't see them staying locked up in the house because they don't think they'll meet their wife in the next location. You don't see them turning down awesome opportunities because they're waiting on their future wife.
They usually remain focused on their careers and getting established. They travel, hang out with their friends, and date. They don't put all of their eggs in one basket too soon. Most aren't in a rush to walk down the aisle. However, when they meet the right one, they commit.
So you're probably wondering, "Okay KING, what should I do as a woman?!" Well.. 1. In case you haven't gotten the message--Shut up asking for your husband! Ask God once, leave it at the altar, and trust that your King is already in the mail with an unexpected delivery date. Divert your energy into the things you can control, like yourself. Which brings me to my next point...
2. Get your ish together! Yeah, I said it. It's funny how people are so quick to ask for the things they aren't ready to receive! You keep asking for a husband, but do you have the maturity and mindset of a wife? Sometimes God doesn't rush our blessings because if He gave it to us prematurely we would mess it up. Do you know how much work goes into a lasting, successful marriage? Do you know how much responsibility it is to be a wife? Do you know how much energy it takes to manage a household? Do you know how challenging it is to love a flawed human the way God loves you? Do you really understand the meaning of "for better and for worse"? And are you mature and strong enough to stick it out even when times get hard? Yeah, marriage isn't always flowers and butterflies. It's so much work that goes into it. How can you expect to work hard in your marriage and you don't even work hard on yourself? Yes, I said that too! Get your ish together, sis! Let's start off with some basics: Can you cook for yourself? And I'm not talking about those struggle plates I see on Instagram! Do you take care of your body? Do you have great hygiene? Are your priorities together? Do you stay rocking the latest weaves but can't afford to pay your light bill? Do you have self control and discipline? Do you know who you are and what your purpose is? Do you have an intimate relationship with God? Do you know how to set goals and actually achieve them? Work hard in developing into your fullest potential spiritually, mentally and physically! There's always work to be done within YOU Queen! I promise you won't add value in your husband's life if you don't know how to add value into YOURSELF.
3. ENJOY YOUR LIFE!!!! I'm telling you to live and enjoy your life right now for what it is! Do whatever your heart desires--travel, dance, sing, hang out with your friends, run a marathon, make unforgettable (not regrettable) memories, etc. Life is short and tomorrow is not promised. Stop waiting for your fairy tale and realize that your fairy tale begins right now! It starts with you!! And one day, your fairy tale will have a King in it! When you least expect it, you're going to meet someone amazing and eventually fall in love. But right now, it's just you--a beautiful Queen, with loving family/friends, passion and a desire to succeed. Your fairy tale includes you creating your Queendom, learning, growing, and making a difference in this world!
Get out of your feelings. Stop being desperate for love and attention. Stop posting those sad, depressing memes at night and secretly hoping that man will get the message--he doesn't care boo. Stop pursuing men that aren't pursuing you--that's a turn off. Stop going out every time with high hopes of meeting "the one". Stop constantly whining to your friends about why you don't have a man--I can guarantee you, they are sick of hearing about it.
I remember at the beginning of the year, I set a goal to visit 3 countries this year. So far I've only been to one. I almost gave up on that goal because none of my friends were able to travel with me before the year ends. Also I'm single and I always wanted to travel with my next significant other. I almost said to myself, "Welp! Looks like I can't travel because I have no friends or man to go with me." Instead I made the decision that my goals and life will not depend on another human. I'm not going to sit around and let my life pass by because someone else can't join me. So, I booked myself a 7 day trip where I will visit 4 more countries before the year ends. No friends and boyfriend will be coming with me. And guess what? That's okay. Life still goes on, and I choose to enjoy it. When I come back from my trip, I will tell my friends about my great experiences. One day when I meet my husband, I'll tell him about my world travels, and hopefully he can tell me about his. Then, we can create some global experiences together.
I'm learning that one monkey doesn't stop the show! A Queen knows how to live fearlessly and love endlessly regardless of her circumstances.
Oh, another dating tip ladies, men love to pursue. They are hunters by nature. They are turned on by the confident woman who beats at her own drum and not preying like a hawk. The thirsty woman, locked in the house, dressed like a grandma in mourning will not get chose. There's no fun or excitement in pursing a desperate woman.
With all of this being said--Queen, enjoy your single years and stop trying to rush forever. One day you won't have the freedom to pick up and do whatever you want because you'll have a husband to consider and/or children to take care of. One day you're going to look back and regret not making the most of these years. You're going to realize all that anxiety and desperation was a waste of energy. You're going to regret missing out on your present because you were too busy living in the future. Your Queendom is already here--live in it.
Hope this helped somebody!