July 17, 2014:"I have officially hit rock bottom today....It seems like everyone's dreams are coming true except mine. I feel like I've wasted the last 21 years of my life. Every morning I wake up feeling worthless and purposeless. I just want to be happy. I just want to feel wanted. I want to feel meaningful. I don't feel valued. I feel like I'm not good enough. I feel like a caged bird trapped and unable to fly..." -Excerpt from Miss T.N. King personal diary
Those are the words of a recent college graduate who had been unemployed for 7 months and hated having to move back home with her parents. I was very close in getting job offers, but none of them fell through. I was so frustrated and depressed. Never in my life have I experienced so much rejection. All I wanted was to move to Texas, be independent, and work in my career. I had spent my entire undergraduate career interning every semester, networking, and consistently making the Dean's List; I couldn't understand why my hard work wasn't paying off.
Looking back I realize: God had already given me the key to my Queendom, but I lacked the faith and proper mentality to enter it. Prayer is the door to your Queendom and faith unlocks the door.
Sometimes you have to change your mentality in order to change your reality.
Peasants say: "I can't ever do that." Queens say: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Peasant's response to rejection: "I'm not good enough. What's wrong with me?" Queen response to rejection: "Ooooo Lord, you must have something better for me! Thank God I dodged that bullet!" Peasants settle for mediocrity. Queens settle for extraordinary. Peasants meet the standard. Queens create the standard. Peasants are envious of others' accomplishments in her season of waiting. Queens are joyful of others' accomplishments in her season on waiting. A Peasant thinks her plans are the best and only way. A Queen knows that God's plans for her far exceeds her dreams and expectations. He can make any way out of no way. Peasants walk by sight. Queens walks by faith. Peasant's appraiser: the world. Queen's appraiser: the Creator of this world, God.
I've noticed a lot of people, including myself at one point, know how to keep their faith when everything seems to be going well. The deals are coming through, opportunities are being presented, and doors are opening. But as soon as they encounter a dry season--a season of waiting, a season where doors remain closed after you've knocked, a season where you feel alone--their faith dries like a lake in a desert. They lose the pep in their step and hide in their shells like a turtle.
You will never catch a Queen with her head down when she's facing adversity, rejection, and challenges. Instead, she looks up to The Lord to ask for His strength, comfort, and guidance. When your eyes are too busy looking up at Christ, your crown can never slip.
Your Queendom is your God-assigned destiny. It's a place where you live passionately because you're working toward your purpose. The worst thing in the world could happen to you, and you still couldn't get knocked off your throne. Why? Because joy lives deep in your heart, love is the center of your actions, and faith leads you in everything you do.
The key to creating your Queendom is to walk like you're already living in it. No, this does not mean to live the "champagne life", and your paycheck still reflects a "water bottle budget". It means speaking your blessings into existence and working like you've already received them. People don't stumble on their purpose--they willingly walk into it. And most of the times, you’re required to walk by faith and not by sight. When I re-launched this blog, I had no idea it would reach so many people in a short period of time. I just knew I wanted to create an outlet for myself to inspire and uplift women. I recall my first post, "Chapter XXII", only received 47 views. Three weeks later, my third post, "The New Side Chick: I Was Her" captured about 3.2 million views. Now, I am approaching the 4 million mark for views overall. That was no one but God, and I sincerely thank anyone who is reading this post or have ever read or shared anything that I've written.
Queen, what is it that one thing you've always dreamed of doing? Is it starting your own business? Going back to school? Starting a nonprofit? Writing a book? What are you passionate about? What is your purpose? Why haven't you began working on it? Or if you started, why did you stop working on it? Is it fear? Is it complacency? Is it procrastination? Is it because you have not seen the fruits of your labor? Jesus says in John 20:29 "Blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe.”
I dare you to seek Christ and ask Him to lead you to your purpose and to shake up your world in such a radical, powerful way. I dare you to wait patiently to hear His voice and to remain obedient to Him. Then, I dare you to do what He has instructed you to do--you know that one thing that will challenge you and make you step outside of your comfort zone, the one thing you have a natural gift for doing, the thing that you've always dreamed of doing but satan, insecurities, and fear has stopped you--Yea, that thing. Do It and Don't Quit.
Why are you still holding on to that boring, unfulfilling job? I know someone is thinking, "But KING, you don't understand. I have bills to pay and mouths to feed." No Queen, I do understand. By no means am I encouraging you to make impulsive and unwise decisions. But how can you create a Queendom that you aren't disciplining and preparing yourself for? You want to become a NY Times Best Selling author, yet you never set aside time to write. You want to be a professor, yet you refuse to go back to school. You dream of starting your own business. However, you haven't even started saving for it because you're too busy buying the latest outfits to flex with on Instagram. (And by the way Queen, a man is not a financial plan--stop depending on his bank account and create your own!) Bobby Unser said it best: "Success is where preparation and opportunity meet." Start preparing for your opportunity, Queen.
In case you're wondering what happened with my employment story, two days after I wrote that entry in my diary, I got rid of my peasant mentality and began to think like a Queen. I realized: my beginning does not dictate my ending. In other words, you may not have your dream job right now. You may not be big balling with your 6-7 figure salary. You may not have been in a relationship for the past 3 years. However, just because you don't have it now doesn't mean God won't give it to you in the future. Be patient and work diligently toward your purpose. God always rewards the faithful.
Two weeks after I renewed my mind and changed my attitude, I received a job offer from the #1 media agency network in the world! I used to get sad when I would receive rejection letters from some of those small companies I applied to. HA! However, when I finally let go and let God, He blessed me with the biggest and best company that I applied to. Sometimes we are too busy trying to open "apartment doors" with a castle key. We hold on to people and dreams that are microscopic to the plan and purpose that God designed for us. Stop chasing the good, and let God present you with the great.
Looking back, I am so grateful for my unemployment season. Not only was I able to rejuvenate my mind after being in school for 16 years, but it was during that period where my relationship with God grew the closest and strongest. I learned how to make God the foundation of my Queendom. I was forced to completely trust Him and develop a REAL intimate relationship with Him--not that "let me pray to God while I'm in my bed about to go to sleep" or “hey God, answer my prayer, I need something” type of relationship. I would spend hours each day seeking His voice and praising Him in the midst of my circumstance. I experienced so much joy, peace, and comfort that I was actually kind of sad I wasn't going to have that much time when I began working my 9-5.
For my entire life I've always accomplished every goal that I set out to do. Not having a job immediately upon completing college was the first goal I missed. You may not reap your reward WHEN you want it, but remember Queen, we operate on God's timing. When you enter in your season of favor, it will be well worth the wait. Keep pressing Queen and create your Queendom! :-)
Before you exit from this screen, please see below: 1. If you enjoyed this article or any others articles I’ve written, please subscribe by submitting your email address toward the bottom of the page. Thank you. :-) 2. Tuesday, Jan. 20th at 8 p.m.CST--I appeared as a guest speaker on online radio show "The Let's Stay Together Talk Show" . I will be posting the live recording of that interview very soon. Look out for it. 3. Friday, Jan. 23rd at 7 p.m. CST--I will be the guest speaker on Art "Chat Daddy" Sim's "Real Talk Real People" show on WVON 1690AM. WVON is available on iHeartRadio, so it can be heard ALL over the COUNTRY!! We will be discussing "The New Side Chick" article, as well as how to let go and move on from those loveless relationships and situationships. You can listen live by visiting: http://www.iheart.com/live/wvon1690am-5304/ 4. Want to book me as a guest speaker at your event, radio show, or talk show? Click the "Contact KING" tab at in the top menu and fill out the form with as much detail as possible. 5. Follow me on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook to stay updated! @misstnking 6. Thank You for your support!