Check out my video at the end of the page on 'Sex & Situationships'! (Subscribe to my YouTube channel here.) I meant to post this video right before Valentines Day weekend and I forgot (my apologies). However, this message is relevant 365 days a year--not just Valentines Day. Fighting sexual temptation is not easy at all. I've been doing it for almost 4 years. Though it's been a challenge and struggle at times, it's been a huge blessing for me. I can't think of a man that I regret not having sex with. When I look back on all the men I've dated these past few years, I don't think "Geez! I should've had sex with him. I made a huge mistake not giving him my body & making him 'another number'!" At the end of the day, when the "honeymoon phase" was over, I was able to see their true colors loud and clear. Withholding sex gave me better judgement and as a result it was easier for me to walk away from peasants.
Now please don't get it twisted. I'm human--I get urges & have desires. However, I had to learn self-control & discipline. I had to learn that I am worth the wait. I had to be truly confident in who I am as a woman & what I bring to the table outside of my body & "sex game". I had to learn the difference between love & infatuation. I had to learn how to be a leader--just because society & friends believe in "sex with no strings attached" doesn't mean I had to follow it. I had to learn my worth & the things I value. I had to learn that putting it all on the table too soon is a dangerous thing--the Bible says to guard your heart because all things flow from it. I had to learn that my King will not make me feel bad or insecure because I choose for us to build a strong solid foundation before a strong steamy sex life. Most importantly, I had to learn that I am not crazy, unrealistic or delusional for requiring a man to work for me. If you're too lazy to put in consistent work outside of the bedroom, you're probably too lazy for me inside of the bedroom. #NotInterested
Queens, it's so easy to get discouraged. Sometimes it seems like "hoes are winning". It seems like the ones who are "thots" get wifed & the ones who give it up fast get the man. When thoughts like these try to fill my head, I remind myself two things:
- Everything that glitters isn't gold. Just because they're "insta-happy" doesn't mean it's a genuine reality. And even if they are happy in real life, so what! What does that have to do with you? Absolutely nothing. God isn't going to give you a replica of that relationship. He's going to give you a relationship created specifically for you & your King. With that being said, always stay true to yourself & your standards.
- Anyone can get a "man", but very few find their King because they allow sex & superficial things cloud their judgement. God always gives us signs. It's hard to hear or see these signs when you're distracted.
Queens, we have so much power. Your most powerful weapon isn't between your legs; it's between your head. Use your mind. It will take you much further than your body.